• Mary Berkery

Beyond the Fairy tale

Updated: May 28

This week many people are discussing the interview of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan with Oprah. We have seen in the interview how all that glitters is not gold and what seems a magical romance can have behind closed doors loneliness, isolation, and suicidal thoughts. I had felt at the time that Duchess Meghan was lonely. In fact, she came into my thoughts.I wrote to her and Harry twice in support and got replies of gratitude both times from them.

What does it all say to me? What questions arise? The Cinderella story is my favorite fairy tale. I have asked in my adult inner musings what happened after their “ happily ever after” How did Cinderella step into her confidence and sovereignty from being a housemaid to her stepmother and sisters to being a princess? Did she need tools to access to be equal with her husband to feel sovereign and whole in herself? Did they live happily ever after? Does happy ever after require continued courageous choices?

In my life of personal enquiry, it is has been a deep journey to arrive at a place of authentic inner power. It has been easy to escape from that arrival to spin a story, be a victim or blame something of someone on the outside, rather than taking myself back to me and living from a place of self-care and full ownership of my life choices and interactions. It is a continuous practice

In the work, I offer and especially in the past COVID pandemic year. I have seen many people come to me with negative self-believe stories running from poor body image resulting in eating disorders, self-harming and suicidal thoughts. I have seen children and adults having to deal with panic attacks and anxiety from the external changes imposed on them. In nearly all the cases I have seen the same people drop into resourcefulness in themselves that was often verging on magical. Horses as co-therapists working with me in assisting people to find a recourse, a place, an anchor within themselves. Equines live in full presence and in the moment. They do not spin into the past or future stories only are fully awake and grounded in what is now for them. That is why they, as well as nature, her seasons have much to offer humans of calmness and sanity in these times.

In my young adult years, there was a mentor and guide in my life, Faith Nyquist. A friend of mine wrote to her sharing her suicidal thoughts. Faith wrote back a simple succinct note. The words are etched in my being to this day. “ Honey, whatever it is you are running from drop it now for you sure take it with you “

I wonder what would it be like if Meghan had such a mentor and guide who helped her at such a transition time in her life? One who would support her in resting into her body and being and away from the mental spins. What would she have needed to let go of ? Would it had allowed her slowly look at the steps ahead to live her empowered life from within. It was a massive change for her to move to the UK, marry and step into an already established royal world. For sure, prejudice and cultural difference pre-existed. Could Meghan have found something deep inside her that is whole and unshakable and not threatened by her external circumstances? Perhaps she had to leave and could it have been done more smoothly?

If her story communicates one thing for young adults and adults too, it is to say that all the wealth, notoriety, status, and external beauty does not necessarily bring happiness or security. In this lock- down time where many are still in distress at been restricted to living with families or in small local communities, could it be a time to find, to access inner magnitude and potential? Could it be that when stripped of external activities that it may be time to explore an inner landscape?

If so what how could one commence?

What could you do right now as you read this?

Start by dropping into that world behind your eyes and under your skin with a conscious breath down through your body breath. You may wish to close your eyes or look down. Inhale through your nose to the count of three, hold to count of two, then exhale slowly to the count of four or five. As you breathe in and out visualize and connect to your feet, belly, and your beating heart. Let your jaw relax and your eyes relaxed behind your shut or half-closed lids. Become aware of each next breath as your continue your inhalations and slower exhalations. Notice what happens. Go within to go beyond.